When it Rains its Pours

So besides being really sick and having to pay out a ton of money for medication because I do not have my benifits yet, and being super emotional already.

I broke my car pretty good, I was driving down my road to go baby sitting, and I see this thing that looks like a plastic bag, so I say to myself pass over it, do not hit it with the tires. Then I get closer and I am like CRAP its a big ice block, with no time to stop or go around it I hit it and cause min $1000 damage to my car and am not allowed to drive it, its been out of use for a week already. I am still waiting till Thursday the 21st for autopack to look at it as they said 5 working days. then they need to tow it back to the service shop and who knows how long it will be there getting fixed....or waiting to get fixed.
I cant afford to rent a car, and dads truck that was parked for the winter which we plugged in and did a bunch other stuff to wont start.

I just want to crawl into a cave and melt away.
I do not want to cry and be emotional over this anymore.

The lonely path

She walks down the lonely path,
No one to wipe the tears in her heart,
No one to walk along with her,
And soothe the fears that plague her…

She looks at life through her broken heart,
Making everything grey and dark,
Alone, with her life changed forever,
Starting life anew on nothing, but a prayer….

Life is never ending, and so she walks on,
Hoping for a better tomorrow, she walks into the dawn.
Someday, maybe this path will not be lonely for her again,
But she’ll never forget this lonely walk and this pain.

So in looking for a picture to go with my posting I came across this photo and poem. and both this poem and photo express what I have been feeling and could not express in such a beautiful way. (I did not write this poem but found it online)

Now and Then

Well, I feel like crap. I look over the past and see where I was with God and look to now and see where I am not anymore. This slippery slop I have found myself on is taking me farther and farther away. but yet I know I shouldnt stay here in this place, nor should I be acting this way. but I have no motavation to do anything about it. yes I want to be back where I was and farther ahead but I just dont care to do anything about it just yet. I know I should and I know the longer I wait the harder it will be to get back. buti just dont care, how bad is that.
so ya to anyone who still reads me please pray for me. I need it

I am a whore I do confess

At times we all have whored ourselves to something or someone, in some form or another. I have been thinking about the ways I have, and what I can do so I dont again. In what ways have you whored yourself out?

Here the the song, that has made me really thinking hard about this

Wedding Dress by Derek Webb

If you could love me as a wife
And for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I’ll ever need
Or is there more I’m looking for

And should I read between the lines
And look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want?

(Chorus)
I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
And I run down the aisle, run down the aisle
I’m a prodigal with no way home
But I put you on just like a ring of gold
And I run down the aisle, run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child?
Though I don’t trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
And with the other in your side
Cause I am so easily satisfied
By the call of lovers so less wild
That i would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

(Chorus)

Because money cannot buy
A husband’s jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

Crashing Down

Out of nowhere the punches come, landing one after another, again and again. The force throwing me to the ground as they continue to come down on me, an end nowhere in sight.

The thoughts of ugly, fat, not wanted, unattractive, poor teacher, failure, stupid, slow to speech, dumb, bad friend, stupid, pour in on me with the force of a waterfall crashing down.


Helplessly I struggle to stay afloat to just keep my head above and survive, to find one last sliver of hope to grasp onto. The desire to get out is crushed with each new wave that keeps flooding in, my strength is spent, my sight is clouded, encouragement lost.

Holding on to the little I have left, I float and wait.

The Last 5 weeks

In the last 5 weeks since I have been home, I have started working right away and very much am enjoying my time there. Yes it’s hard at times but there are good times too. I am cleaning out my rooms and tossing lots.... feels good but I am at the point where I don’t want to clean anymore.
I am going to young adults and helping out at youth. Some old stuff at church. Hanging out with my friends and getting together with new ones and ones I haven’t seen in forever.

I’ve been up and down spiritually and emotionally in these last 5 weeks also. Lots of feelings of loneliness, and some other things I have always struggled with over the years. Its stupid things that keep coming up again, but do cut me deep. I know that I have a bunch of friends here so I am not lonely lonely, but my hearts desire is to be married and start a family…. And I am lonely in that way. I do realize that God will bring the right man around in His time, but right now a lot of my friends are dating, getting married or having babies, Its hard not to ask when will it ever be my time. Waiting is hard. But by the end of summer I believe it will be better, all the weddings will be done. I will be settled into my new routine.

So that’s Sarah for now.
Keep me in prayer please much is needed and wanted

Grad 2007

It's a New Season...


Isaiah 43:18,19

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.









The theme for the year and what a theme it was. I thought I knew what this was going to bring. But far from what I thought this past year was going to bring, a whole year of ups and downs and all around showed me the real mean to It’s a New Season.


But now the year has come to an end. The pictures were taken, the decorations hung, the funniest rehearsal came to an end. The last award and diploma given out. The last student moved out of the dorm. The last goodbye said and tear cried.




My Time at IBC has been beautiful, good, bad and ugly. I love and hated it. IBC has become an important part of my life and I will cherish and miss my time spent there.
Thank you for all you have done and become in my life.