Melancholy

Well the results are in, I’m a melancholy person.... what does this mean, well I don’t really remember, but after some searching here is some of what it means to be
Melancholy:
Deep and thoughtful, Analytical, Serious and purposeful, Genius prone, Talented and creative, Artistic or musical, Appreciative of beauty, Sensitive to others, Self-Sacrificing, Conscientious, Idealistic. As a parent, sets high standards and wants everything done right.As a homemaker, keeps everything in order.As an employee, schedule oriented and hard working. A list maker and keeper.
Personality Weaknesses of the Melancholy:
Easily offended, Can get too caught up in details, Doesn't do well with change. Struggles with insecurity and tends towards depression .

Well now, I guess that makes things a lot more clear. I now know why I am the way I am for my personality…. Well that’s not true, I know I am the way I am because I am God’s creation and He know me and formed me before I was born
It was interesting hearing all the other personality types. We all laughed and joked and agreed. It was good times.

One of the things our youth/worship pastor read when he was reading this one is that Melancholy’s tend to be very cautions when making friends. I find that funny since I have a wide verity of friends just hardly any close, close friends that know everything about me. Which is fine for me at times, but when I really need someone to talk to, there is no one to talk to… well I guess its more like I don’t feel close enough to them to talk to them, yeah know what I mean.
But we live, we learn and then we grow.

What to do, what to do....

Well, well, well, I find myself at another crossroads, which way to go is now the decision. To take one road will mean going out of my comfort zone and into a whole new zone that could be very uncomfortable but also a chance in a life time. to take the road left would be to stay with what I have always known, Now that should make this choices oh so easy, who wants to stay with the same old when new and exciting things can happen just a road over. AH but fear. what a small word… yet what a big wall it makes.

My Decision is about a missions trip, its just painting the school, but the country is well, not very safe to say the least, not to mention I am the only person under the age of 30 that’s interested in going. There are so many different variables like work and money and the age of the others who are interested in going... Talk about Fear
To make things even better I need to make my choice by June and make a paymentLike my heart is for missions, but not this part of missions…. I like going for the kids and youth and the people… ministering to them, sharing with them, blessing them.

Do I go because it’s a missions trip or do I wait for one that’s more for the interacting and ministering with the people.
I'm not saying that this trip is not for a good reason because it is.
Pray, pray and pray, and listen, listen and listen, that’s all I can do at this point

Where is the hunger???

Talk about frustrating, the church seems to be very dead, and I have to wonder if its just mine or all of them. I think its a good portion of Canada’s churches that are dead. After hearing about the district conference it seems that all but very few pastors have lost their fire for God… how sad is that, they are the ones who are leading us and they don’t care to enter into worship with God… that seems wrong. Don’t get me wrong, there are a number of people who are on fire for God and desire more of Him who are pastors and laypeople, but in my church those of us who I can tell are on fire for God are people with little or no say in the church.
Why cant we just drop the act and have real church. It seams like all that is cared about is how the church looks and what kind of program we can get. Man I just long for real church, to be able to enter into Gods presents and stay there for awhile and not have the stiff structure that has creped into my church. where is the boldness to preach the word for what it is and not the feel good fluffy puffy sermons. Yes I know we need those but, not every single Sunday for years. we need to be challenged to make our life’s right in Gods eyes.
Why is it that people don’t want to trust God more, do they not hunger for God. Are they ok with being in a long distance relationship with Him… I know I don’t want a long distance relationship with Him. God is a God who walks with me, who will never leave or forsake me. I want more of Him.